Chillasian Vlog- My youtube channel

When I was growing up, someone told me that one day I would live in USA, fast forward 13 years after and I find myself in a situation where that dream has been granted, my very own genie has come along and gifted me with three wishes and for some bizarre reason, I’m staring back at the genie with a face of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear that the dream is better than the reality, or just fear that I now have to step outside the safety net I built up over the course of my adult life.

When I met my now husband, I knew my options. I wasn’t naive to think that a life with him would most likely include, at some point in our lives, living in the USA. But nothing can prepare you for that eventuality when you’re smitten and blindsided by the infatuation of this gorgeous human being that reciprocates your love. Throw in the mix that your husband has since put his dream of being a member of the US Navy into place and your move not only means being an expat in one of the biggest cities in America, but you’re now also thrust into ‘Military Life’ which in itself is a hard nut to crack. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m used to a little spontaneity having lived in both Bahrain for ten years and Philippines during my childhood until college.But there is spontaneity and there is downright frightening. I’m 33,a college graduate, a degree holder and just left my stable career in Bahrain.Your mind plays tricks on you and all of those years of building your confidence seem to crumble in front of your very own eyes as you doubt your ability to make something of yourself. Live the American Dream. It’s drilled into you from the day you arrive and you so badly want to integrate yourself into that ethos that you drive yourself mad thinking you have to be better, you have to live a life others will dream of and you have to reach for the stars. What you don’t allow yourself to fathom, is that you’re not expected to do this all at once, it’s just the ideology that we put on ourselves because we think that’s what is expected of us. But isn’t that what is wrong with the current world, we do what we think is expected of us and not what is going to make us happy. We try so hard to make our family and friends proud that we instantly lose sight of what will fill ME with pride. What do I want from my own life?

It’s not until you take a step back, take a deep breath and realise that you’ve got to follow your own path, fight your own fight and beat your own demons. Everyone has their own inner battle that no one knows anything about. It’s impossible to believe that your ‘journey’ will be exactly the same as someone else’s just because they made the same move as you did. What is important is that you stay true to yourself and make your own decisions for your life because you’re the only one that’s responsible for your own shortcomings. No one else can play a bigger role in your life than YOU.

So as I sit here, with just over three months and thinking about the dream becomes the reality, I am trying really hard to banish the demons, to silence the devil on my shoulder that wants me to fail, because the only person that has given the devil the voice is ME. No one wants me to fail, no one would like to see me unhappy in a life that wasn’t necessarily something of my choice. Everyone I care about wants me to just keep being me, that’s ultimately what we all want for one another. Just be yourself and don’t let the worries of the world shape the person you are going to become.

#Milwife #Asianwife #USexpat #Mom #Navyspouse

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD_4RR5hCpvo7-4SoRFpQHw